I'm still here.

The last 6 months have been... hard. Very hard. While most of the hard stuff has been good (at least in the end), some has tested my mental, physical and emotional limits to my absolute core.

In April we found that we would be relocating to another state for my husbands' employer. While we were very excited about this, moving is extremely stressful. It was also a corporate relocation, which is monetarily fantastic, but you have a LOT of people with their 'hands in the pot'. This makes it a LOT more stressful. We had relocation liasons, realtors, inspectors (4 different ones!), loan officers, etc. And everyone wanted to talk to us or have us fill out paperwork or meet with them RIGHT NOW.

3 weeks after we found we were moving, I found that I was pregnant. I'll be honest, I wasn't very happy about this. The timing was awful and I felt terribly overwhelmed. I develop hyperemesis gravidarum when pregnant (the entire 9 months) and just functioning is a trial. My daughter was only 17 months old at the time and I felt pretty panicked when I thought about having a 4.5 year old, a barely 2 year old and a newborn a week before Christmas... mere months after moving to a new place where I didn't know a soul.

I eventually told myself to suck it up and make the best of it. No sense in dwelling on something that I had no control over. Be happy and figure it out as you go, right?

So my husband and I started house hunting and preparing for our move. I was focusing on finding a house that would work for our soon-changing family dynamic and actually started to get a little bit excited about a warm, tiny cuddly baby again.

Then I had my first OB appointment and everything fell apart. I went through the appointment with the usual 'congratulations' at every step and then went for a preliminary ultrasound to confirm how far along I was. All I wanted was to hear that there was only one baby. What I got was far different news.

My baby was anencephalic. You can do an internet search if you'd like, but in short, it didn't have a brain. There was also no heartbeat and it looked as though my baby had died about 5 days earlier - when I was looking at houses and trying to visualize a nursery for my cuddly new baby. I was also 2 days shy of 11 weeks along, which is a bit farther along than normal to lose a baby. I dissolved... and then I drove the 25 miles back to my home to cook dinner, trying all along to keep it together in front of my kids.

The next few days were a blur. I'll spare you the details, but I had to have a D&C (terrifying and heartbreaking), in which they missed some 'tissue'. I then got to experience the horror of a miscarriage anyway - at 3 am, by myself, while my husband was out of town and my children slept.

8 days later was moving day.

I numbly went through the motions of moving my family into a corporate apartment, and tried to quickly claim some semblance of normalcy and peace in my life. Sometimes it was ok, and a lot of the time it wasn't. Over the next 2 months we sold our old home, closed on a new one and moved for the 2nd time in 8 weeks. I also started a new work at home job and got back on track with my sons homeschooling.

We've now been in our new house for 2 months. Our things are unpacked and (mostly) put away. We've fallen back into a routine and life seems comfortable again. My kids love their new rooms, and I love my screened in porch (and the view of my 15 partially forested acres I look out at from it).

I still struggle a bit with the emotions of the roller coaster that the last 6 months has been. I still feel a little beaten up. I do know that everything will be okay. I also know that in spite of the bad that we've gone through recently, I'm blessed. God has been good.

I'm going to jump back into the saddle here again. I enjoy my blog. It brings me happiness to have this little thing that is mine. I have 6 or 7 book reviews coming (a backlog from the last 6 months), so stay tuned.

Super Easy Dairy Free Popsicles!

On Friday my son was BEGGING me for ice cream. We've been trying to eliminate dairy from his diet over the past 2 weeks due to some behavior issues that we're trying to take care of, so ice cream was obviously out of the question. I was racking my brain to figure out something fun for him... to no avail. Then I had an epiphany - Chocolate Almond Milk! Here is our creation - they're delicious!

Banana and Dark Chocolate Dairy Free Popsicles:
2 c. Dark Chocolate Almond Milk
1 ripe banana

Blend until smooth and pour into popsicle molds or small dixie cups (with popsicle sticks). Freeze for at least 6 hours, but preferably overnight. Enjoy!

Bloging for Books book review: 'The Dragon and the Turtle Go on Safari' by Donita K. Paul and Evangeline Denmark

Publishers' Description: 
Padraig the dragon and his best friend, Roger the turtle are determined to spend the whole night outside. As brave explorers at the base of Mount Sillymanborrow, the boys use their imaginations to have fun while munching on crunchy baked bugs and toasting s’mores over their campfire. But when the sky gets dark and the sounds of strange animals fill the forest outside their tent, their safari gets scary. This adventure is just what the boys need to discover that the dark might be frightening, but their friendship is stronger than fear.

This is the third book by Donita K. Paul that I've read, and I still love her. This book is a cute little follow up to the previous children's book about Padraig and Roger - 'The Dragon and the Turtle'.

In this story, Padraig and Roger decide to go on safari to Mount Sillymanborrow. During their expedition, they discover wild animals and eat bugs and S'mores while battling their fear of the dark. While they exchange stories over the campfire, Roger does his best to calm Padraig's fears and encourage him to stay all night outside under the stars. Because of Roger's friendship, the two manage to brave the wilds all the way until morning.

I thought this story was a nice one - as did my (almost) 4 year old son - but I did find it a tad long. I suppose this is really because my child is younger and I suspect that it will cease being an issue in another year or two. I also found the British English a little distracting. I didn't notice it being used in the first book, so I was surprised that it was so prevalent in this one. I don't necessarily dislike it, it just took some getting used to. The illustrations are absolutely lovely - just like the first book.

All in all, great book - I'd rate it 4/5. I'd estimate the age range around 5-9, though it's perfectly readable for younger kids. You can pick it up on Amazon for under $10 - I say that's a good price for a kids book like this one.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the Blogging for Books book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Just to Let You Know I'm Still Alive

I've had to deal with some things in my normal 'real-world' life lately, and thus I've been unable to blog. I've got a backlog of books that I'll be bringing you reviews on over the next couple of weeks.  I also have decided that I am going to be posting more about our Gluten Free eating habits and recipes and about our homeschooling adventure. In fact, I've just finished selecting my son's Kindergarten curriculum which we *should* be starting in August.

Sit tight - I'm coming back!